


How Many Chances?

by 27summer



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 13:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4138722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27summer/pseuds/27summer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Faberry Week, Day 1- Second Chances. Rachel and Quinn wonder how many chances they’ll get with Shelby and they grow closer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Many Chances?

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through 3x8 Hold Onto Sixteen

Quinn made her way through the Lima mall with a bag in her hand. She couldn’t believe she’d braved the insane crowds at the mall to get Beth a present that she probably wouldn’t be allowed to give her anyway. Shelby still wouldn’t let her to see Beth, even though she’d agreed not to turn her in for sleeping with Puck. She knew she’d gone a little bit crazy but she’d apologized. She didn’t know what else she could do to convince Shelby that she had changed. Shelby wasn’t even at McKinley anymore; it wasn’t like she could show her that she was a good person.

“Quinn? Hi.” Rachel tapped Quinn’s shoulder, smiling brightly.

“Hey.” Quinn forced a smile. She wasn’t in the mood for small talk, even with Rachel. It was just too awkward to be around her considering she knew all about her mistakes. Puck did, too, but she didn’t really care what he thought about her. But Rachel- Her opinion mattered more than anyone else’s.

“Are you doing some Christmas shopping?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah. It’s for Beth. I thought I should get her something, even though I doubt I’ll get to actually give it to her,” Quinn said resentfully.

“Oh. Are you and Shelby still having problems?”

“Problems?” Quinn laughed. “That’s one way to put it. Shelby refuses to let me see her.”

“I’m sorry.” Rachel placed a hand onto Quinn’s shoulder.

“It’s my own fault. I screwed up my second chance to have Beth in my life. Now I’m left with nothing. She’s not going to know who I am. She’ll think I didn’t care about her at all.” Quinn clenched her fists tightly, trying to keep her emotions under control.

“That’s not true,” Rachel protested.

“Yes, it is. Puck will have a relationship with her but I won’t. I-” Quinn stopped, sucking in a breath. She was going to fall apart.

“Come on.” Rachel took her hand and led her out of the mall and to her car.

“You- I’m okay. You don’t have to do this. I know you probably don’t want to discuss Shelby. I appreciate you getting me out of there before I lost it in public but we don’t have to have some unnecessary conversation in your car.” Quinn looked away, finally finding a way to calm down.

“Talking about Shelby isn’t my favorite thing but you’re my friend. And I want to be there for you, no matter what.” Rachel took Quinn’s hand and squeezed. “And I know you’re not one to show your emotions. That’s why I dragged you here.”

“Thank you.” Quinn blew out a breath. “I just- I don’t know how to handle this. I wish I could go back and change all that I did but I can’t.”

“I know. And it’s not fair. Shelby- She didn’t handle this well at all.” Rachel shook her head. “This whole situation is just a mess.”

“No kidding. But she’s Beth’s mom. She’s got all of the power here.” Quinn looked over at Rachel, surprised that she felt better just by talking to her.

“I- I could talk to her.”

“No. I don’t think it would do any good. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to,” Quinn said quietly.

“I don’t mind. I want to help you, if I can.” Rachel squeezed Quinn’s hand again for emphasis.

“I don’t want to get my hopes up. Shelby will do what she wants. And I’m just going to have to wait until she’s ready to deal with me again.” Quinn took her hand from Rachel’s. “I’m going to go now.”

“Are- are you sure? Maybe we could hang out or something,” Rachel said hesitantly.

“Maybe some other time. I need to get home to my mom.” Quinn smiled at her. “Thanks for talking to me.”

“No problem. Call me if you need anything.”

“Sure. I’ll see you, Rachel.”

“Bye, Quinn.” Quinn got out of the car, feeling slightly unsettled. Even when she helped her, Rachel threw her off balance. Quinn didn’t know how to handle that.

\----------------

Pulling her coat tighter against herself, Rachel got out of her car and made her way up to the house. All of a sudden, she got very nervous. She’d called ahead and she wanted to do this but it wasn’t like they were all that close. This might be a mistake. But it was too late to change her mind. She knocked quickly before she could chicken out and run away. “Hi, Shelby.”

“Rachel, come in.” Shelby led her into the living room. “Beth’s still asleep but she’ll wake up soon.”

“Okay.” Rachel sat down on the couch, drumming her fingers anxiously on her thighs.

“I’m really glad you called. I want us to build a relationship,” Shelby said earnestly.

“I don’t really know what to say to that. You- you haven’t exactly proven that you wanted that.” Rachel closed her eyes. She didn’t want to start off so confrontational.

“You’re right.” Shelby sighed. “When I came back, I didn’t want to force you into anything. I wanted it to be your choice.”

“Except you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with me before,” Rachel burst out. “Why would I come to you?”

“I never said that. I- I can’t be your mom. You know that, right?”

“I do. But you talked to Quinn and Noah. But you barely had anything to do with me,” Rachel said sullenly.

“I didn’t mean to exclude you. I thought that Noah and Quinn deserved to know their daughter,” Shelby explained. “It ended up a mess.”

“Yeah, because you didn’t talk to us. You just made the decisions.” Rachel tried to keep her anger from bubbling up. She didn’t realize how furious she was until they started talking.

“I’m Beth’s mother. I’m in charge here.”

“I know that. We all know that. But your decisions affected us and it’s not fair.

Shelby touched her shoulder. “Rachel, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry, I want to know why. Why did you come back to ignore me, to sleep with Noah, to cut Quinn off?” Rachel asked.

“That’s- Rachel-”

“No, I don’t want to hear about how it’s none of my business. You made it my business when you adopted my friends’ baby. Why?” Rachel glared at her, waiting expectantly for the answer.

“Rachel, I wanted a child I could raise myself. You’re all grown up.” Shelby looked down at her lap.

“I understand that. But Quinn and Noah-”

“That’s got nothing to do with you.”

“They’re my friends. Quinn realizes she messed up. Why can’t she have another chance?” Rachel looked pleadingly at her.

“I can’t risk Beth,” Shelby said simply. “And it’s too difficult for me to be around Quinn right now.”

“Oh. Now I get it. That makes sense.” Rachel laughed.

“What do you mean?” Shelby looked at her in confusion.

“You never do anything unless it’s easy for you. Why bother navigating a difficult situation when you can just run off?” Rachel cringed. Her big mouth was going to get her in trouble but she just couldn’t stop herself.

“That’s not fair, Rachel.” Shelby looked hurt but Rachel couldn’t hide her anger.

“Maybe it’s not but you know I’m right,” Rachel said stubbornly.

“What do you want from me? I don’t understand what you’re doing here if all you want is to argue with me.”

Rachel sighed. “I don’t want to argue. I really didn’t come here intending to start something. I just- I wanted to see you. I want- I want to have a relationship with you but I don’t see how it would work.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I left in the first place because I wasn’t sure how we can have a relationship.” Shelby shook her head. “And things with Quinn are none of your business.”

“Fine. Fine.” Rachel stood up. “This was a mistake. I wanted to help Quinn but clearly that’s not possible.”

“Wait. You don’t have to leave.” Shelby grabbed her arm. “Maybe-”

“No,” Rachel interrupted, pulling her arm free. “You’re not my mother and you’re not even my friend. It was stupid to even try this.”

“Rachel, please. Talk to me,” Shelby pleaded.

“This is pointless. We’re going nowhere and I don’t want to do this anymore.” Rachel looked her straight in the eyes. “Good bye, Shelby.”

“Good bye, Rachel.”

Blowing out a breath, Rachel made her way out of the house and to her car. That was a complete disaster. She had hoped to smooth things over for Quinn and work things out with Shelby and she completely failed. All she managed to do was make things even worse. Quinn would be furious with her and she deserved it. There wasn’t anything she could do to fix it. Everything was totally messed up. She didn’t know what to do next.

\-----------

Quinn followed Rachel into her house, wondering exactly why she was here. Rachel had asked her to come over but they weren’t the kind of friends to hang out on a Saturday night. Not to mention the fact that Rachel seemed a little upset. She didn’t understand why Rachel had called her if what she needed was comforting. That wasn’t something she was good at. “Rachel? What’s going on?”

“I have to tell you something,” Rachel said, avoiding her eyes.

“Okay. What is it?” Quinn asked as Rachel sat next to her.

“I met with Shelby earlier,” Rachel said, the words coming quickly, like she had to get them out before she choked on them

“Oh, okay. I’m glad you’re working things out with her. I still don’t know what that has to do with me.”

“I tried to talk to her about you. To convince her to give you another chance. It didn’t go well. I- I think I made things worse.” Rachel rubbed her forehead in distress.

“Why did you have to talk about me?” Quinn felt off-kilter. She knew she should be mad but Rachel looked so pathetic that she couldn’t manage to feel anything.

“I was trying to help but it ended up turning into a fight about Shelby taking off every time things get difficult.” Rachel shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

“God, Rachel. I already can’t see Beth. What if Shelby never lets me see her again?” Quinn glared at Rachel, the anger flaring up.

“I’m sorry,” Rachel repeated, looking small.

“I-” The surge of rage faded and Quinn sighed. “You were just trying to help. It’s not your fault.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m the one that screwed up to begin with. I wouldn’t need another chance if I hadn’t blown it.” Quinn shrugged.

“But still- I meant to help and I didn’t.” Rachel looked over at her. “You deserve to have Beth in your life.”

“Thank you.” Quinn patted Rachel’s leg. “But Shelby’s going to do whatever she wants. There’s nothing either of us can do to change that.”

“I just- I wanted to fix things for both of us and it’s not fair.” Rachel frowned.

“It’s not,” Quinn agreed. “But that’s the way things are.”

Rachel sighed. “God, this is a mess. And I tried to talk to Finn about it and he didn’t understand at all.”

“Well, that’s Finn for you.” Quinn struggled to keep her voice neutral. Taking about Finn was so uncomfortable. She didn’t like the thought of Rachel and Finn together at all.

“He just doesn’t get it,” Rachel griped. “He thinks that I should just be glad Shelby’s here at all. He doesn’t get the problem.”

“He would give anything to have his dad back. He probably can’t see past that,” Quinn pointed out.

“I know. But he won’t even try to see things my way. It’s just so frustrating.” Rachel sighed. “You probably don’t want to hear about my problems with Finn.”

“No, I can’t say that I do.” Quinn smiled to let Rachel know she didn’t have any hard feelings.

“I- Thanks for letting me vent, even if you didn’t want to hear it.” Rachel smiled back.

“I am sorry he doesn’t get it. I know what it’s like to not have anyone to talk to when you need it.” Quinn tugged on her shirt, turning red. She really hadn’t wanted to appear vulnerable to Rachel.

“Yeah, that you do.” Rachel put her arm around Quinn’s waist.

“Oh.” Quinn tensed for a moment before relaxing into her touch. It was odd how easily Rachel slipped under her skin. No one else dared to offer comfort like this. And even if they had, Quinn likely wouldn’t have accepted it. Why did she allow Rachel to get so close to her? Why did Rachel affect her so much?

“Do you really forgive me for making the situation worse with Shelby?” Rachel asked, whispering into her ear.

“There’s nothing to forgive. You were only trying to help.” Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel and squeezed before standing up. This couldn’t happen. She was getting too close. She couldn’t stay this close to her. “I’d better go.”

“You- you don’t have to.” Rachel furrowed her brow, looking confuse.

“No, I’ve got stuff to do. And I don’t want to take up too much of your time,” Quinn said, briefly meeting Rachel’s eyes.

“Okay.” Rachel walked with Quinn to the door. “You know, if you want to hang out after school or during break, you can call me.”

“Sure. I’ll probably need some time away from my family.” Quinn closed her eyes in embarrassment. “That’s not what I meant.”

Rachel laughed. “It’s fine, Quinn. We’re not exactly close. But I’d like to be. If you want.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Quinn grinned, anxious to get away before she said something even more ridiculous.

“Great. See you, Quinn.” Rachel patted her shoulder.

“See you, Rachel.” Quinn waved before heading out of the house. It made no sense but Rachel always brought out her emotions. She always had. Even when they’d been enemies, Rachel had affected her. It was scary. That was probably the reason she had been so awful to her. Quinn shook her head to clear the thoughts. They had moved past that. They were friends, or at least getting to be. She just had to work on not taking her moods out on Rachel and maybe everything would be good between them.

\---------------

Rachel dropped onto her bed, pulling her blankets over her head. She was sad but she didn’t want to cry. In fact, it wasn’t so much that she was sad but more that she was resigned. Resigned to the fact that her relationship with Finn was over. For good this time.

Sighing, Rachel flashed back to the argument they had just had. It was the same argument they had been having for days. Rachel was still in a funk over what happened with Shelby and Finn didn’t get it. He thought she should try again and not be so angry. Finn had said she was being selfish and then everything spiraled out of control. They ended up screaming at each other and Rachel had ended it. It was just too much. She couldn’t keep doing the same things and expecting Finn to change. Because he wouldn’t. And Rachel wouldn’t change, either. It was time to stop the roller coaster.

Rachel honestly felt all right. She wasn’t going to wallow forever or chase after Finn, begging him to take her back. She just wished she had someone to talk to, someone to eat ice cream and watch movies with. But Kurt would be distant from her, she knew, and Mercedes only tolerated her when they were with Kurt. And it wasn’t like she had a whole lot of other friends.

Hearing her phone, Rachel stuck her hand out to grab it, a smile spreading across her face. “Hey, Quinn. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to come over and hang out.”

“Yes, I would. That sounds like it would be a lot of fun.” Rachel sat up. It was pretty amazing how Quinn managed to call just when she needed her.

“Great. I’ll see you in about an hour?”

“I’ll be there.” Rachel grinned, happy that she’d have something to keep her mind off of Finn.

\---------------

Quinn opened the door, smiling at a beaming Rachel. “Hey. Thanks for coming over.”

“No problem. I’m glad to spend time with you.” Rachel took her jacket off. “Besides, my dads both have to work late and I’m feeling kind of lonely.”

“I know how that is. My mom works late all the time.” Quinn scoffed. “Of course that’s mostly to avoid dealing with her shameful daughter.”

“Oh, Quinn.” Rachel took Quinn’s hand. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Not at all.”

“You’re sweet.” Quinn blushed, looking at her shyly. “I don’t understand how you can think so highly of me after all of the things I did to you.”

Rachel turned, looking Quinn directly in the eye. “You’re hardly the only one to treat me badly. And you’re one of the few who’s apologized and stopped the behavior. I’m not angry. I forgave you a long time ago.”

“I- Thank you.” Quinn cleared her throat, needing to change the subject. “Sorry for bringing the mood down.”

“It’s all right. I’d do anything for you.” Rachel looked away from her.

“Oh.” Quinn was at a loss for words. Nobody ever talked so thoughtfully to her unless they wanted something from her. But unlike the guys who tried to charm her, Rachel didn’t seem to need anything from her. “Um, do you want to go upstairs and watch a movie?”

“Yeah, great.” Rachel looked about as relieved as Quinn felt.

“I don’t have any musicals,” Quinn warned, feeling delighted when Rachel giggled.

“Oh, no.” Rachel smirked up at Quinn.

“Come on. We’ll find something good.” Quinn dragged her upstairs, a slight bounce to her step. Spending time with Rachel made her feel happy in ways she couldn’t even begin to understand.

\------------------

A few hours later, Rachel woke up to slight darkness. It took a moment for her to remember where she was until she looked over and found Quinn curled up next to her. They must have fallen asleep during the movie. Rachel shifted, looking closely at Quinn. She looked so different as she slept. Innocent, like all of the worries she had just faded away. Rachel took one hand, lightly touching Quinn’s face. It was a little creepy but Rachel couldn’t help it. Quinn was so beautiful. She started to lean in and press her lips-

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Quinn asked sleepily.

“We fell asleep.” Rachel was glad it was fairly dark in the room. She didn’t have much of a poker face. Quinn would most definitely be able to tell how flustered she was and Rachel had no idea how she could explain herself. She didn’t understand what she was thinking. She just knew that she wanted to be close to Quinn, as close as she could get.

“Did you fall back to sleep?” Quinn looked up at Rachel, a tired smile on her face.

“No. Just thinking.” Rachel forced her own smile. “I can’t believe we didn’t make it through the movie.”

“I know. It’s like we’re some old couple that’s so comfortable that they pass out when it’s still light out,” Quinn joked.

“Right.” Rachel grew serous. “You don’t mind hanging out with me, do you? I know there are probably lots of parties you could go to but I just don’t feel like going now that Finn and I broke up. I’m sure some jock would see fit to dump beer on me.”

“Hey, it’s not a problem,” Quinn reassured her. “I’m not one for parties myself. I usually only go because it’s expected.”

“Really?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah. I never enjoyed those kinds of things. But if you’re going to be a Cheerio, going to be popular, you have to play the game. But I’d much rather be at home reading a book than deal with any of it.” Quinn shrugged. “And I like being with you.”

“Good. Because I like hanging out with you, too.” Rachel felt her stomach flip over at Quinn’s words. She didn’t understand what was happening. Why was Quinn causing these confusing feelings?

“Do you want to restart the move or do you need to get home?”

“If you’re not sick of me, I’d like to stay.” Rachel knew she was playing with fire but she didn’t want to leave. She hadn’t thought of Finn at all and she wasn’t sorry. She was just enjoying her time with Quinn. All of the pressure she’d been under had faded away. Nothing mattered but her and Quinn.

“Great.” Quinn beamed, her smile visible even in the quickly vanishing light. It was nice that Quinn wanted to be around her as much as she wanted to be around Quinn. They were really becoming close and that was all she’d wanted for a long time.

\-----------

Quinn turned to look at Rachel as they walked out of the movie theater. “So? Why did you think?”

“It was really good. Most of the old movies I’ve seen were musicals. But I loved this one.” Rachel grinned up at her. “Ingrid Bergman is terrific.”

“She’s my favorite. And Notorious is probably her best movie. This was the first time I’ve seen it in an actual movie theater,” Quinn said excitedly. She knew it was silly to get wound up about an old movie but she’d never had someone who shared her love of classic films.

“I’m glad you brought me.”

“Me, too. Nobody but my mom has ever really watched black and white movies with me.” Quinn elbowed Rachel’s side. “I’m happy you weren’t bored.”

“No way. I could never be bored with you,” Rachel said shyly.

“I-” Quinn didn’t know what to say to that. Sometimes, Rachel looked at her like she hung the stars. And it felt good but she didn’t really trust it. Most everyone that had ever looked at her like that eventually became disappointed. She didn’t think she could take it if she ever hurt Rachel.

“That’s silly, isn’t it?” Rachel shook her head.

“It’s okay. I have fun with you, Rachel. More than with anyone else.” Quinn looked away. She couldn’t believe she’d just admitted that. If she told Rachel the truth, it gave her the power to hurt her.

“Wow. You know, these past few weeks have been fun, but I still can’t believe that you want to be friends with me,” Rachel said incredulously. “You’re still the popular, wonderful Quinn and I- I’m just me.”

“No,” Quinn said firmly. “Don’t talk like that. You’re not below me, Rachel.”

“Come on, Quinn.” Rachel scoffed. “I don’t have people begging to spend time with me. Even my own mother didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Rachel.” Quinn placed her hand on Rachel’s shoulder. “That’s not actually what happened.”

Rachel rolled her eyes, shrugging off Quinn’s hand. “Sure it is. She had a second chance to be in my life and she didn’t take it. Obviously, there’s something off-putting about me that made her reject me.”

“I didn’t know you felt like that.” Quinn felt like an idiot. Of course Rachel was more hurt than she’d let on. She put on a good show but it had to sting that Shelby rejected her. And Quinn hadn’t even really thought about how Rachel might feel. She really was an awful person. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Rachel said sadly. “It’s just the way things are.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?” Quinn asked. She couldn’t think of anything that would help but she wanted Rachel to be happy.

“No. But talking helps a little.” Rachel smiled slightly.

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.”

Quinn smiled widely. “Good. You’ve helped me so much. I’m happy I can return the favor.”

“You don’t have to do anything. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to who understands.” Rachel looked down at her lap. “Do you want to go get something to eat?”

“That’s sounds like a good idea.” Quinn led her to her car, her arm brushing against Rachel’s. She had all of these feelings she didn’t know what to do with. It would probably be best to send Rachel away but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to hurt Rachel or screw everything up. She’d stick it out. She’d figure it out if it was the last thing she did.

\---------------

Rachel grabbed Quinn’s hand and led her to the couch. “Okay, sit down. I found something and I think you’ll like it.”

“Okay,” Quinn said, laughing at Rachel’s exuberance.

“Here” Rachel handed her a bag. “I was with my dad shopping and I found something absolutely perfect for you.”

“You didn’t have to get me any time. I didn’t know we were doing the whole Christmas present thing. I don’t have anything for you.”

Rachel shook her head. “That’s not why I got you this. I saw it and I wanted you to have it. Open it.”

“Oh, wow.” Quinn looked up from the bag over to Rachel. “Where did you find these? I- I’ve seen them on TV but- This is too much.”

“No. I told you, my dad and I were shopping and I saw these in the bargain bin. And I remembered you like Ingrid Bergman.” Rachel smiled shyly. “You don’t already have them, do you?”

Quinn shook her head. “No. I’ve seen Gaslight and Spellbound but not Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I love it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Rachel hugged Quinn. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it. It’s perfect.” Quinn blushed, glancing away.

“I don’t know about that. I’m just thrilled I made you happy.” Rachel let her go, not quite understanding why she wanted to hold her close.

“I think this will end up being the best part of my Christmas,” Quinn said sarcastically.

“Quinn?” Rachel frowned. She didn’t want to push Quinn but she wanted to help her if she could.

“I’m just whining.” Quinn blew out a breath. “It’s just- My family is ridiculous. My sister got to town yesterday and is already on my case.”

“That sucks.” Rachel reached out and grabbed her hand.

“I feel stupid. I’m not a little kid anymore. I don’t need my big sister’s approval. But there’s a part of me that still wants it,” Quinn admitted.

“I understand that. Shelby is my biological mother and not my mom but there’s still a part of me that wants her to care.” Rachel scoffed. “I know it’s not the same but-”

“No,” Quinn interrupted, squeezing Rachel’s hand. “It is. And I’m sorry I had a part in her coming back to hurt you.”

Rachel shook her head, blinking back tears. She didn’t want to talk about this. She shouldn’t have brought it up. “It’s not your fault. It’s Shelby’s. She’s the one who brought up all of this stuff.”

“Yeah.” Quinn bit her lip. “I’m still sorry.”

“Well.” Rachel shrugged. “This kind of brought down the mood, didn’t it?”

“Right.” Quinn laughed. “You want to get some dinner or are you doing something with your dads?”

“No, that’s good.” Rachel’s heart started to pound as Quinn pulled her up.

“My treat.” Quinn grinned. “But I’ll let you pick the restaurant.”

“Sound perfect.” Rachel knew she was in trouble. But she couldn’t turn away from Quinn. Not right now.

\----------------

Quinn tugged nervously on her skirt as she waited for the door to open. This wasn’t going to go well but she had to try. She had thought about Rachel all night and she’d finally figured out how to help her. She just didn’t know if it would work out.

“Quinn? What are you doing here?” Shelby asked looking at Quinn in suspicion. “Beth isn’t here right now.”

“I know. Puck told me he was taking her out. I want to talk to you in private. Not about Beth. About Rachel,” Quinn said quickly, hoping Shelby would agree.

“What about Rachel? Is she okay?” Shelby asked in a panic.

“She’s fine. I- She’s- She’s unsettled. Because of you,” Quinn said, cringing at the incensed look on Shelby’s face.

“Excuse me?” Shelby narrowed her eyes.

“I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything. Can I come in and we’ll talk? Please. For Rachel,” Quinn pleaded.

“Okay,” Shelby said after a long moment. She allowed Quinn to follow her into the house and they sat down. “What’s this all about?”

Quinn took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts. She really should have planned this out better. She knew Shelby needed to fix things with Rachel but she suddenly doubted that she could be the one to convince her. “Rachel and I have been talking and she wants a relationship with you. She just doesn’t know how to do it.”

“Quinn, this has nothing to do with you,” Shelby stated.

“It does. Because Rachel is my friend and this tortuous mess is partly my fault. I mean, you’d have never come back if you didn’t want Beth to know Puck and me.”

“She doesn’t want me in her life. We fight every time we’ve tried to talk.” Shelby shook her head.

“She does,” Quinn insisted. “She just needs you to make the effort with her. To show her that you care.”

“I do care,” Shelby whispered, looking stricken.

“Have you really showed her that?”

“I can’t talk to you about this,” Shelby snapped. “Rachel’s my daughter and we’ll figure it out ourselves.”

“Except you won’t. Rachel’s not going to make the first move and you- I don’t know what you’re doing but you’re not making things better with her.” Quinn paused before speaking softly. “I’m honestly not trying to hurt you. I want Rachel to be happy.”

“Why do you care so much? I don’t understand why you’re here.”

“We’ve been getting closer lately. We’ve been talking and Rachel’s still upset. She’d never tell you this but she cares about you so much.” Quinn sighed. She’d said all she could. There was nothing to do but wait for Shelby’s decision.

“Do- do you think that helping me with Rachel will mean you’ll get to see Beth? Because that’s not going to happen,” Shelby said.

“I- That’s not what I’m doing. I know you’re angry with me. I messed up my chance. I don’t expect you to change your mind anytime soon.” Quinn looked Shelby straight in the eye. “This is about Rachel. Please, just think about it.”

“I will.” Shelby nodded. “But I can’t promise anything.”

“Okay. That’s all I can ask.” Quinn stood up. “Thanks for talking to me.”

“Good bye, Quinn.”

“Good bye.” Quinn walked back to her car, feeling ten times better. Maybe she couldn’t fix things for herself but maybe she had helped Rachel. That’s all she wanted. She’d do anything to make her smile.

Getting into her car, Quinn thought for a moment on her time with Rachel. She was feeling something that she probably shouldn’t be. She had always known that Rachel was wonderful but lately she’d been noticing how beautiful and strong she was. That wasn’t going to work out. There were a thousand reasons why this wasn’t going to work. Rachel was straight and Quinn wasn’t exactly prepared to do anything about her feelings. Her mother would flip out. And Quinn didn’t want to wreck her friendship with Rachel. So she couldn’t think about her. She had to be satisfied with just being Rachel’s friend. It really shouldn’t be that hard. She was used to denying herself what she really wanted. This would be no different than the rest of her life.

\----------------

Rachel set up the ingredients on the counter and turned to look at Quinn. “Are you sure you want to bake cookies with me? I’m a tiny bit controlling.”

“Oh, you’re a whole lot controlling but I still want to bake with you.” Quinn grinned.

“Cute.” Rachel elbowed her side. “Now, I have a system.”

“Of course you do,” Quinn teased. “I like to be in charge but I can follow directions when my leader is extra bossy.”

“You’re not comparing me to Coach Sylvester, are you?” Rachel asked in disbelief.

“No, no. You’re not nearly as insane as she is.”

“Quinn!” Rachel exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist. You’re cute when you’re being teased.” Quinn burst into giggles, leaning against the counter.

“Not funny,” Rachel grumbled half-heartedly, her stomach turning over at the sight of Quinn’s laughter. This was one of the few times she’d seen Quinn drop her guard so completely and it was beautiful. She was beautiful.

“Hey, you still with me?” Quinn snapped her fingers in front of Rachel’s face.

“Yeah.” Rachel shook herself out of her daze. “You ready to listen?”

“Sure thing, Boss.” Quinn saluted her.

“You’re so silly.” Rachel reached out and flicked flour at Quinn.

“I thought you were a neat freak,” Quinn said.

“Just having fun. Shouldn’t I loosen up? Rachel grinned, flicking more flour at her.

“Watch it, Small Fry. You don’t want to tangle with me,” Quinn warned.

“Maybe I do.” Rachel tossed the flour directly in Quinn’s face this time.

“Oh, now you’re in for it.” Quinn stuck her hand in the melted chocolate and swept a streak across Rachel’s face.

“Quinn! That’s not vegan chocolate!” Rachel grabbed a dish towel and threw it at Quinn, hoping to distract her so that she could get away.

“Uh-uh.” Quinn followed Rachel, grabbing her around the waist and pinning her against the counter. “Not so fast.”

“Whoa!” Rachel’s breath caught in her throat at the feel of Quinn’s body pressed against her own. She twisted in her arms, looking up at Quinn. “We seem to be at an impasse.”

“Not exactly. I’ve got you right where I want you.” Quinn smiled, her eyes darting all over Rachel’s face. Her gaze seemed to linger when Rachel licked her lips.

“Oh, yeah? Where’s that?” Rachel asked. She couldn’t look away from Quinn. It was like she was hypnotized. She should back off but she couldn’t be anywhere else.

“Right next to me,” Quinn murmured. She reached out, rubbing some of the chocolate off of Rachel face and licking it off her fingers.

“Um.” Rachel groaned. Quinn was so unbelievably sexy that Rachel was seconds away from throwing caution to the wind and kissing her.

“Mmm. That tastes great. I wonder…” Quinn trailed off, a devious smile on her face.

“What?” Rachel frowned. She’d never had Quinn look at her like that before.

“Nothing. Just-” Quinn cut herself off, leaning down and kissing Rachel. Immediately, they lost themselves in each other, their arms holding one another tightly.

It was a few minutes later that Rachel managed to pull away. “That shouldn’t have happened.” Rachel squirmed out of Quinn’s arms, staring up at Quinn with a stunned look on her face.

“It’s okay.” Quinn tried to reassure her but Rachel backed away even further.

“No. We- we’re friends. That’s all we can be.” Rachel was beginning to panic.

“But why? I liked kissing you. And I think you liked kissing me,” Quinn said hesitantly. “Unless I pushed you into it.”

“No, I liked it but we can’t. It’s not right.”

Quinn scoffed. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line? You’re the one with two dads.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Rachel shook her head. “We’re finally actually friends. And I just broke up with Finn.”

“Right. Yeah. Finn. It’s always Finn.” Quinn laughed bitterly.

“I-”

“Don’t. Just don’t, Rachel.” Quinn held up her hands, preventing Rachel from coming any closer. “I’ll wash the flour out of my hair and then I’ll go.”

“You don’t have to leave,” Rachel called after her. Things had spun completely out of control. It was happening too fast. She didn’t want to hurt Quinn; she just needed a minute to think things through.

“Sorry I can’t stay and help you bake those cookies but I think it’s better that I go.” Quinn came back into the kitchen.

“You don’t have to. Please let’s talk about this,” Rachel said.

“No, I think I’ll skip hearing about how much better Finn Hudson is than me.” Quinn waved at her. “I’ll see you.”

“Quinn, wait. Please. It’s not-” Rachel closed her eyes when Quinn stalked away, the sound of the front door slamming breaking her heart. This was a total mess. She had hurt Quinn and that was the last thing she wanted. She had just wanted to keep things how they were. She didn’t want to ruin her friendship with Quinn but that had happened anyway. And she had no clue how to fix it.

\------------------

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Quinn grumbled as she stomped up the stairs to her room, careful not to make too much noise. The last thing she needed was to draw the attention of her family. God, she could just imagine that conversation. “Frannie, I wrecked the relationship with the girl I might be in love with.” That would be just wonderful.

Flopping onto her bed, Quinn punched her fist into her hand. Why did she do that? How could she possibly have thought it would end up any other way? Even if Rachel wasn’t still hung up on Finn, she would never want Quinn. But she just couldn’t stop herself. Rachel had looked so pretty and they were all tangled up together. She’d just wanted it so bad. But it was too much. Rachel didn’t want her. She should never have even tried. Because Quinn never was the sort of person who got what she wanted. She was stuck. She would never get to be with Rachel. And she suddenly realized that she really wanted to be with her. It wasn’t a crush or infatuation. It was love. Real, true, complete love. And it meant nothing because it wasn’t returned.

Rolling over onto her stomach, Quinn attempted to stop her tears. Crying wasn’t going to change anything. She was still all alone. That was something she should probably be used to. As much as she always tried, she always ended up alone. There was no use in complaining. That was the way things were and she couldn’t change them. She had to accept it. And stay as far away from Rachel as possible until she got a handle on her feelings.

\-----------------

When the door bell rang, Rachel tried not to get her hopes up. It was Christmas Eve. There was no way it was Quinn. Especially since Quinn wouldn’t answer her phone. Their friendship was ruined, which was exactly the opposite of what she wanted. The irony of it all would have made her laugh if she still couldn’t picture the dejected look on Quinn’s face. Hurting Quinn hurt more than she’d ever thought it would.

Opening the door, Rachel gasped. “Shelby? What are you and Beth doing here?”

“I- It’s Christmas Eve. I wanted to see you.” Shelby smiled hesitantly, shifting Beth in her arms.

“Oh, um, come in.” Rachel led them into the house, sitting down on the couch. “I’ve got some cookies in the kitchen. Can Beth have one?”

“That’d be nice.”

Using the time in the kitchen to calm down a bit, Rachel grabbed a plate of cookies and set it on the coffee table. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Shelby looked over at Rachel. “This is awkward.”

“It is,” Rachel agreed. “After the last time we spoke, I don’t think I’d see you again.”

“I hadn’t planned on it but I realized that I wasn’t being fair to you.” Shelby sighed. “I came back into your life unexpectedly. Both times. I- I took away your choices and I never really gave you the chance to be angry with me. I disappeared.”

“You- you did,” Rachel said. “You left before I could even tell you how I felt.”

“I’m sorry, Rachel. I was so focused on what I needed that I didn’t think about you.” Shelby looked at her. “What can I do? What do you want from me?”

Rachel thought for a minute. She didn’t want to hurt Shelby but she honestly wasn’t sure she could trust her. “I don’t know- I- I know you’re not my mom. And I don’t need one. I have parents. My dads are great.”

“Right.” Shelby flinched but said nothing more.

“I’d like to have you in my life. I think we could be friends but if you’re going to bail again, let’s just forget it,” Rachel said.

“I can’t promise I’m going to stay here forever.” Shelby gestured to Beth. “It’s not just me anymore.”

That’s not what I mean.” Rachel shook her head. “I know you might not always be around. But you can’t go away without a word again for a year and a half.”

“I- Okay.” Shelby nodded. “That’s fair.”

“Do you think you can agree to that?” Rachel asked, trying to mask her hopefulness. She wanted a relationship with Shelby but she didn’t want to be rejected again.

“I- Yes. I don’t know how this will work but I promise I won’t disappear again,” Shelby said.

“Good.” Rachel smiled, a sense of relief coming over her. “Maybe- maybe we can have dinner once a month. We can start to build our relationship.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Shelby agreed.

“I’m glad you came over. I wouldn’t have called you but it’s good we settled this.” Rachel hesitated for a moment. This visit had been really great; she didn’t want to wreck it. “Why did you decide to come today? The last time we talked, it seemed like we were at an impasse.”

“A few days ago, I spoke with Quinn.”

“Quinn?” Rachel flashed back to her kiss with Quinn the day before. “What did she have to do with this?”

“She made me realize the mistakes I made with you. She- she really cares about you,” Shelby said.

“Yeah, she’s great,” Rachel replied sadly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Rachel tried to smile. “I didn’t know she was going to see you. She seemed to think that it was useless to try to talk to you about Beth.”

“She didn’t want to talk about Beth; she wanted to talk about you.” Shelby patted Rachel’s leg. “She seems to be a good friend to you.”

“I can’t believe she’d do this.” Rachel was stunned. Quinn hadn’t said a word about this. She’d tried to help her and all Rachel managed to do was hurt her. She felt awful.

“I think she’s starting to get herself together.” Shelby shrugged. “It’s making me think that maybe eventually she and Beth can have a relationship.”

Rachel beamed. “That would be fantastic.”

“You two really are close, huh?” Shelby asked, looking at Rachel’s delighted face.

“Yes. And I can say she realizes she screwed up. And she would never do it again.” Rachel knew she seemed a little invested about someone who was just her friend but she couldn’t help it. Quinn had done something wonderful for her and she wanted desperately to return the favor.

“I hope you’re right. I don’t want Beth to have questions about her biological mother, especially since Noah is still in her life,” Shelby explained.

“What does that mean?” Rachel asked.

“I’m working on figuring something out. For now, I think the best thing to do is keep contact limited to pictures and e-mails. Maybe in a month or two, we’ll work up to phone calls.” Shelby looked at Rachel weakly. “It might seem overboard but I think I went too fast this last time.”

“Maybe you did.” Rachel considered Shelby’s words. As much as she wanted Quinn to see Beth right away, it might be better to do it Shelby’s way.

Suddenly, Beth started to cry. Shelby picked her up. “It might be nap time for this girl.”

“Oh.” Rachel stood up with Shelby. “Thanks for coming.”

“No, thank you for giving me another chance.” Shelby gave her a one-armed hug.

“I- You’re welcome.” Rachel hugged her back, speechless for once in her life.

“Beth, can you say bye to Rachel?” Shelby asked as they made their way to the door.

“Bye, Beth. Thanks for coming to see me,” Rachel said as Beth ducked her head away.

“It was good seeing you, Rachel.”

“It was. Good bye.” Rachel shut the door after they left, feeling relieved. She hadn’t realized how much the Shelby situation had been weighing on her. She’d forced herself not to think about it because it hurt too much. Bur now she had another chance. All because of Quinn. She couldn’t believe it. Quinn had done something so sweet for her and had never even told her. She hadn’t even wanted anything in return.

Walking back to the living room, Rachel collapsed on the couch. Her mind was spinning. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to go to Quinn and thank her but she knew that wouldn’t work. Quinn didn’t want to speak to her; she didn’t even want to see her. Rachel knew that Quinn didn’t react well to hurt feelings, she usually pushed people away. And Rachel didn’t know if she could fight past those walls. But she wanted to. She needed Quinn in her life. No matter what.

\------------

Staring at her computer, Quinn could hardly believe what she’d just read. Shelby had e-mailed her pictures of Beth. She’d said that they would try communicating this way for a few months and then talk about visits. It was all she wanted and she had never thought it would happen. She had thought that she’d ruined things completely. But she hadn’t. This was the greatest that she had felt since she had kissed Rachel.

Rachel. The e-mail had distracted her from the mess with Rachel but she was still upset about it. She knew she should talk to her but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She felt so embarrassed. How could she have possibly thought that Rachel felt the same way as she did? Rachel had just broken up with Finn. And Quinn had been so horrible to her in the past. Just because they were friends, it didn’t mean Rachel wanted a relationship with her. Quinn’s face flushed red just thinking about it. She couldn’t imagine speaking to her again. She had to get some distance from it. Even though she missed Rachel so much. They had grown so close in the past few weeks. She needed her friend. But she still wanted Rachel badly. And until she stopped wanting her, it was better to stay away. If only Rachel would stop calling and texting her.

“Quinn.” Her sister poked her head in the door. “You’ve got a package.”

“It’s Christmas Eve. Who’s sending something today?” Quinn frowned, taking the box from her sister. There was no address on it, which meant someone had dropped it off. She was pretty sure she knew who that someone was. And sure enough, once she opened it, Quinn found a letter with familiar hand writing.

“Quinn, I’m sorry about everything. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted things to end up like this. I care about you so much. I need you in my life. Your friendship is more important than anything else. I also need to thank you. Shelby came to see me. She told me you talked to her on my behalf. I can’t believe you’d do that for me. I don’t deserve to have a friend like you in my life. I only hope I didn’t throw it all away. I baked some cookies for you and your family. I hope you have a Merry Christmas. Love, Rachel.”

Quinn pulled wrapped cookies from the box. Sugar. Chocolate chip. Peanut butter. God, Rachel was too good to her. Quinn was the one who took off like a baby and Rachel still baked her cookies to make up for the ones they didn’t bake together. She wished that she could go to Rachel and pretend that the kiss had never happened. But she couldn’t. It just wasn’t the way she was. It would be impossible to just be Rachel’s friend. No matter how much she wanted to be. She wanted Rachel in her life, any way she could have her. But it would be impossible now that they had kissed. Quinn didn’t think she’d ever forget it. That kiss was everything she didn’t know she was missing in her life.

Quinn picked up her phone. She still needed time away from Rachel but she could at least text her and say thanks for the cookies. Rachel would know that she didn’t hate her. She didn’t want to hurt her but she had to protect herself. Even though it was painful, Quinn knew she had to stay away. Because eventually, she’d lash out at Rachel. And that was the absolutely the last thing she ever wanted to do.

\-------------------

A text. A two sentence text was all the contact Rachel had gotten from Quinn. ‘Thanks for the cookies. I’m sorry but I still can’t see you.’ Rachel was trying not to feel frustrated. She knew Quinn was upset but she still wanted to see her. They weren’t going to work things out if they didn’t talk. But Rachel knew better than to push. Quinn would shut down and it would make things worse. So all she could do was wait. And Rachel wasn’t exactly known for her patience.

Walking into the Lima Bean, Rachel settled into a corner with her laptop. She needed to stop thinking about Quinn and get out of her house. Her dads kept asking what was wrong and she didn’t know what to tell them. Not the girl part, they obviously wouldn’t care about that. But she didn’t know how to explain the situation. Mainly because she didn’t know how she felt. She wanted Quinn in her life. She cared about her so much. And that kiss- her heart raced just thinking about it. But were these feelings for real or a reaction because was lonely? She’d been so attached to Finn for so long that now that they had broken up, maybe she was transferring those feelings to Quinn. Except that wasn’t right. She’d always been fascinated by Quinn, wanting to impress her and prove she was good enough. And she had a feeling that this was something that had been brewing for a long time.

All of a sudden, Rachel felt somebody’s eyes on her. She glanced up, looking around the room until she found Quinn staring directly at her. She quickly glanced away and Rachel fought her irritation. Quinn wouldn’t talk to her but she had plenty of time to hang out with Santana and Brittany. She couldn’t stay here and watch this. She picked up her computer and headed out the door. She thought she heard someone calling after her but she ignored it. She didn’t want to play nice with Santana and Brittany only to have Quinn pretend she wasn’t even there.

“Rachel, wait.” Quinn caught up to her at her car, grabbing her arm. “You could have joined us. You don’t have to leave.”

Rachel couldn’t stop the snort that came out of her. “Because Santana and I are such great friends. And you don’t want to talk to me so why would I bother?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I just can’t,” Quinn said in a small voice.

“I know. And I get it. That doesn’t mean I’m not hurt.”

“I never meant to hurt you.” Quinn let go of her and stepped back.

“I don’t want you to feel guilty.” Rachel looked away, unable to stand looking into Quinn’s sad eyes. “I just want my friend back.”

“I’m still your friend, Rach. I just need some time away from you to start thinking of you like just a friend. I’m trying to stop wanting you.” Quinn sighed.

“I- I wish-” Rachel stopped. She couldn’t say anything to make this better.

“I know what you wish. You wish I weren’t so pathetic over you,” Quinn said bitterly.

“No. That’s not at all what I meant. I don’t think you’re pathetic.” Rachel took a few steps towards Quinn, forcing her to look down at her.

“What do you want from me?” Quinn asked, locking eyes with Rachel.

“I want things to go back to normal.” Rachel shook her head at her foolishness. “That’s stupid. That’s not what I meant. I know we can’t go back.”

“Well, what do you want?” Quinn demanded impatiently.

“I want- I want you.” Rachel placed her computer on top of her car and came even closer to Quinn. “I just want you.”

“What does that mean?”

“This is crazy.” Rachel grabbed Quinn’s waist and pulled her even closer. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“What?” Quinn’s eyes flew open as Rachel kissed her soundly.

“Mmm.” Rachel gave herself over to the kiss, all of the stress of the past few days fading away. All she was aware of was Quinn’s mouth, Quinn’s body.

“This is nice.” Quinn slowed down their kisses, keeping her arms around Rachel. “But we should probably talk.”

“Yeah, we should,” Rachel said, smiling up at her, kissing her once more.

“Seriously. You’re not going to freak out again, are you?” Quinn asked with scared eyes.

“No. Definitely not. I want you so much, Quinn. I’m terrified but I’m not going to leave you.” Rachel stroked Quinn’s cheek, marveling at the softness there.

“You don’t have to be scared.” Quinn pressed her forehead to Rachel’s.

“Aren’t you scared?” Rachel asked, slightly astounded that this was really happening.

“Yes.” Quinn laughed. “I guess we’ll be scared together.”

“Right.” Rachel sank into Quinn’s embrace, resting her head on Quinn’s chest.

“As nice as this is, we should probably go soon.” Quinn twirled Rachel’s hair between her fingers.

“Oh. Yeah,” Rachel mumbled, burrowing even closer to Quinn.

“We’ve really got to go. Santana and Brittany will probably come out soon and I’m guessing you don’t want this to get out,” Quinn said, pulling back slightly.

“Okay. Follow me home?” Rachel lifted her head.

“Okay. And you won’t freak out?”

“I might freak out but I won’t push you away. I promise.” Rachel leaned up, kissing her briefly.

“Go. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” Quinn smiled.

“See you.” Rachel beamed as she got into her car and drove home. Things weren’t settled but they would figure it out. Now that she’d really given into her feelings, she wasn’t going to give Quinn up without a fight.

\---------------

They were supposed to be talking, Quinn knew, but the second they reached Rachel’s room, she had pushed Quinn onto the bed and straddled her. Rachel’s obsessive need for control apparently ran over into all areas of her life and Quinn couldn’t bring herself to care about anything else. It felt too good. Rachel pressed her into the bed and Quinn could do nothing but submit to Rachel. This was better than anything she’d ever dreamed of. Legs tangling together, hands wandering everywhere. She couldn’t get enough. She wanted more, she wanted everything. She slid her hand under Rachel’s shirt, stroking her skin.

“Whoa.” Rachel lifted her head. “That feels nice.”

“Yeah,” Quinn breathed out. “Too much?”

“Probably but I don’t want to stop.” Rachel captured Quinn’s lips again.

“I don’t want to stop either but we really need to talk.” Quinn forced herself to turn her head away, despite how badly she wanted to ignore common sense and lose herself in Rachel’s touch.

“Right. Talk.” Rachel sat up, pulling Quinn with her.

“This isn’t going to work.” Quinn gestured at Rachel still sitting on her lap.

“Oh.” Rachel moved until she was sitting next to her, their shoulders touching. “Let’s talk.”

“What changed? You kissed me before and then rejected me.” Quinn knew she should probably ease them into this conversation but she needed to know.

“I didn’t want to reject you. I was afraid of losing you. I’m still afraid but- but you standing in front of me- It was too much to resist.” Rachel took Quinn’s hand, linking her fingers. “These past few weeks have been so good and I didn’t want it to change. But it’s too late. We’ve already kissed and we can’t go back.”

“No, we can’t and I don’t want to. I could never forget having you in my arms.” Quinn brought Rachel’s hand up to her lips, kissing her knuckles.

“I care about you so much, Quinn. You- It’s crazy how much you mean to me.” Rachel shook her head in disbelief. “It’s insane. It’s all happening so fast.”

“But is it really so fast?” Quinn played with Rachel’s fingers. “We’ve always been circling around each other. It kind of makes sense that we’re falling for each other.”

“Right, you’re right,” Rachel said slowly. “But what if we fight? What if we hurt each other?”

“I think we’ll always argue. That’s just who we are. We’re both so opinionated,” Quinn pointed out.

“That’s true but-”

“No.” Quinn covered Rachel’s mouth. “I don’t want to look for reasons not to be together.”

“Do you think that’s what I’m doing?” Rachel asked, a frown on her face.

“A little bit. But I know all about self-sabotage and I don’t want either of us to do that this time.” Quinn smiled confidently. It was so strange to be the self-assured one here. Rachel was usually the one making her feel better. But it felt good. Like maybe they were equals. Like they could work this out.

“I don’t want to do that, either.” Rachel leaned her head on Quinn’s shoulder.

“So we won’t. We’ll stick this out together.”

“Yeah.”

“There’s one more thing I have to ask you.” Quinn hated to bring it up but she had to be sure that Rachel was all in. She couldn’t risk her heart for anything less.

“What is it?”

“What about Finn? Are you sure you two are done?” Quinn asked, trying to keep her face even. She didn’t want to show any fear. If Rachel changed her mind about them, she wanted to at least seem strong.

“We’re over. I’m not getting back together with him,” Rachel said quickly.

“And you’re sure? Because you’ve broken up before. I don’t want to end up getting run over by the Finchel train if it’s not really over.” Quinn didn’t mean to be harsh but she had to speak her mind. The whole Finn issue had slipped her mind with all of the kissing but she had to make sure Rachel was really in this.

Rachel turned on the bed, tugging on Quinn’s hand until they were facing each other. “You’re right to ask these questions. I even wondered if this was just a rebound from Finn. That’s why I rejected you after we kissed.”

“Um, I- I don’t-” Quinn felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. “I should go.”

“Wait.” Rachel scrambled off the bed, stopping Quinn as she tried to leave. “You’re not a rebound. I promise.”

“Rachel, it’s always been you and Finn. And you just said-”

“I said I wondered. But I spent the last few days missing you, not Finn. You were the one I texted and called, even though I got no response.” Rachel pushed Quinn up against the door, leaving her no way to escape. “It’s you I want. I am absolutely certain.”

“I want to believe you but nobody has ever picked me first.” Quinn shook her head, hoping her tears weren’t obvious. “I know it seems like I’ve had it all but all I’ve ever gotten was people expecting me to be someone I’m not. So I’m having a hard time believing you’re actually choosing me.”

“I am choosing you.” Rachel blew out a breath. “Finn was a dream of something that I thought I wanted. But he’s my past. We don’t want the same things anymore. It doesn’t work between us. But you? I think we work.”

“Yeah?” Quinn asked, wanting to believe her more than anything.

“Yes.” Rachel stood on her tip-toes, brushing her nose against Quinn. “You understand me. And when you don’t, you still try. That- that’s something I need. You are so important to me.”

“So- so, we’re dating?” Quinn tangled her hand into Rachel’s hair, tilting her head back. She wanted to bury her face into Rachel’s neck, forgetting the rest of the world but she couldn’t quite let herself. Not yet.

“Of course. It may be too soon but I don’t do casual. When I want something, I go after it. And right now, I want you.” Rachel grinned, her eyes dark with the promise of a passionate evening.

“Okay.” Quinn gave into her desires, kissing Rachel for all she was worth. She pushed her back across the room to the bed, landing on top of her. This felt so good. She couldn’t stop. Not ever.

“Oh, wow, you’re good at that.” Rachel gasped as Quinn began trailing kisses down her neck.

“You feel so good,” Quinn answered. She couldn’t stop touching her. “I can’t get enough of you.”

“Me, either.” Rachel stared up at her with shining eyes. “You’re my girlfriend.”

“And you’re my girlfriend.” Quinn burst into giggles, dropping onto the bed next to Rachel. “I can’t believe it.”

“You should. I’m here and you’re not getting rid of me for a long time.”

“I won’t want to be rid of you. Not ever.” Quinn ran her fingers over Rachel’s face. It was probably a little clingy but she had to keep up the contact.

“That sounds good to me.” Rachel closed her eyes as Quinn’s touch lingered on her face. “I adore you, Quinn Fabray.”

“I- I’ve wanted to hear that from you for so long,” Quinn choked out. She was going to start crying soon but she couldn’t stop it. It was like all of her dreams were coming true in this moment.

Rachel shifted to her side, brushing the tears from Quinn’s cheeks. “I think this had to happen now. We had to wait until we were ready and now we are.”

“We are.” Quinn smiled, softly kissing Rachel’s lips. “I want to take you out on a date.”

“That’d be nice. So long as I can take you out on one, too.”

“Sounds good to me.” Quinn rolled back on top of Rachel and they became lost in each other once again.

\----------------

“What- what are we doing here?” Rachel looked at Quinn in confusion as she parked her car.

“I think we’re watching a movie. That’s generally what people do at a drive in movie theater,” Quinn said impishly.

“I didn’t even know these places still existed,” Rachel said. “How did you find it?”

“My parents used to take me here when I was a kid. I checked to see if it was still here and when I found out what movie was being played, I knew it was perfect.”

“What movie?” Rachel asked curiously.

“A Star is Born.”

“With Barbra?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“You’re perfect.” Rachel leaned over and kissed her.

“It’s no big deal,” Quinn said bashfully.

“It is,” Rachel insisted. “You’re so thoughtful.”

“I’ve got some snacks in the back if you want to sit back there.” Quinn ducked her head, the blush on her face visible even in the fading light.

“You thought of everything, didn’t you?” Rachel climbed into the backseat after Quinn.

“I figured dinner and a movie would be a little less cliché if we did it this way.” Quinn smiled charmingly at her. “There’s nothing fancy. Mostly fruit and vegetables.”

“And wine? How’d you get this?” Rachel asked in surprise, holding up a bottle.

“It’s fancy grape juice.”

“This is just too much. I can’t believe you did all this just for me.” Rachel shook her head. She couldn’t believe Quinn would go to all of this trouble for her.

“I-” Quinn looked down at her phone and grinned. “Oh, wow.”

“What is it?” Rachel asked, curious about what put the smile on her face.

“Shelby sent me pictures of Beth.” Quinn held her phone out for Rachel to see.

“She’s doing that? I’m glad she followed through on it.”

Quinn looked at Rachel in shock. “She told you?”

“Uh-huh. She came to see me Christmas Eve. She said you talked to her about me.” Rachel smiled widely at the shy look on Quinn’s face.

“I did. I didn’t think she listened, though.”

“It looks like we both helped each other out.” Rachel kissed her gently before resting her head on Quinn’s shoulder. “You knew I needed her.”

“I just wanted to help you.” Quinn covered them both with a blanked, her arms wrapped around Rachel.

“You did. And I’m so grateful for you.” Rachel snuggled even closer to her.

“I’m just glad that we’re here together.” Quinn pressed her lips to Rachel’s hair.

“Me, too.” Rachel sighed in contentment. After all the drama of the past few months, it seemed like things were working out and she had Quinn by her side. She couldn’t imagine anything better than that.


End file.
